How does the Virtual Academic(TM) work?

1. How does it work?
2. Why are the sentences so bad?
3. How can I see a list of the words it uses?

How it works

The Virtual Academic(TM) does not use "real" sentences. Instead, it generates sentences from lists of common academic phrases. When the Virtual Academic loads in your browser, it includes three kinds of lists: noun phrases, modifying phrases, and verb phrases. It then picks from these lists at random the words that will become the parts of the sentence.

From the list of noun phrases:

The subject of the sentence (plus a preposition):

. . . and the object (plus preposition):
.

From the list of modifying phrases:

The phrase that modifies the subject:

. . . and the phrase that modifies the object:

Finally, from the verbs list:

A verb or verb phrase:

The computer then puts the words together in a typical sentence pattern:

Noun Phrase + Modifying Phrase + Verb + Noun Phrase + Modifying Phrase

or, in this case:

Why are the sentences so bad?

Probably there are several reasons. First, we have to admit that some sentences generated by this program will be plain nonsense. But others -- we're actually surprised at how many -- actually do make sense to academic readers, after they've struggled through them for a bit. The question, then, is not whether the sentences are true, or deeply meaningful, or (as Smedley would say) an important contribution to the field. The question is really why they are so hard to read, and why their style can instantly be recognized as an academic one. What is it about the structure of the sentences that makes reading them such a chore?

We think the answer lies in the way the sentences express action. You probably learned in grammar school that the words that express action are verbs. But in fact, in the sentence you just saw, most of work is done not by the lone verb, " ," but by the nouns: Both of these nouns express actions -- actions that are far more significant than the one expressed by the verb. But because the actions are hidden in nouns, there are two important kinds of information that the sentence does not include:

1. Who or what performs the actions? When actions are expressed as a verb, like "analyzes," the doer of the action is named as the subject of the verb: "Julia analyses." But when an action is expressed in a noun, like "analysis," the sentence can simply omit the doer of the action: "Analysis of your financial records reveals bankruptcy." Who did the analysis? The sentence coyly conceals this information.

2. When did the action take place? Verbs let us know when something happened: Julia analyzed, but Barbara has analyzed already, and Fred will analyze at some future date. Nouns, however, have no way to indicate tense. When a sentence expresses two or three actions as nouns, then -- as all of our sample sentences do -- readers have no way of knowing whether these actions take place at different times or at the same time.

Of course there's nothing wrong with a word like "analysis" in itself. But when too many of a sentence's actions are expressed as nouns -- linguists call these words "nominalizations" -- then their evil effects start catching up with readers. Readers can feel as if they are caught in a vague, timeless world where concepts mysteriously interact with no intervention from actual human beings.

The good news is that this kind of sentence can be fixed. If nominalizations -- nouns acting as verbs -- are the problem, then verbs are the solution. A noun like "articulation" can be changed to the verb "articulates." And who articulates? If the writer (who is in the best position to know) takes the time to share this information with her readers, then she'll be able to say with pride that her sentences look nothing at all like Pootwattle's.

How can I see a list of the words the Virtual Academic uses?

You can see the entire source code of the Virtual Academic by following these steps:

1. Go to the Virtual Academic window (it is probably under this one).

2. Windows: Right-click on the bottom of the screen, next to (but not on) the button that generates the sentences. Mac: Click on the bottom of the screen, next to (but not on) the button that generates the sentences.

3. Windows: On the context menu that appears, click "View Frame Source." Mac: On the browser's View menu, click "View Frame Source."

Thanks for your interest in the Virtual Academic! If you want to send us comments, suggestions, or complaints, you may write to us here:

writing-program@uchicago.edu